My husband and I have been negotiating what our family coven looks like lately. He has been reading the book, "Faith and Magick in the Armed Forces" by Stefani E Barner.... and has found how better to connect to a faith that has always been a bit -- exclusionary of his job. I have to admit that I often thought that he showed this passive - almost a grudging acknowledgment - of OUR faith that was more for my benefit than his. He went along with it... but he seemed uncomfortable in that skin.
I remember going to a meeting once where there was talk of the military incursion into another country... they held a special power gathering ceremony not to aid the soldiers - strengthening and protecting them -- but rather to aid the protest against it. No thought for the people that are doing their job... just the politics. We got up to leave as we knew we did not belong there. Needless to say, The Warrior was upset and rightly so. I remember him saying that he wouldn't really like to go back there as he never wanted his son to look at him and his job and think that he was "wrong". It broke my heart.
He couldn't be who he was! He had a hard time connecting his spirituality and his chosen career.
And I felt that I couldn't be who I was. I didn't feel that I had his support or his approval... as I said, he always was separate from what I was doing. I didn't feel comfortable sharing a Sabbat or Esbat with him... when he wasn't really feeling it! I never wanted to feel that I was forcing his participation nor making him feel guilty for his reluctance. This reluctance has always been a bit of a barrier in the closeness of our marriage. I believed in something totally - and he seemed always to be searching for his thing... I felt uncomfortable sharing this most intimate part of myself because he was not really onboard...
Well... no more!
This book has opened his eyes to the idea that the Goddess and God can work through him as well!
It has also got some great sections on deployment and kids -- ways to feel connected when apart. I think it was a real boost to him...
For the first time he has talked about initiation and finding our son's warrior name.
I think it is hard for men to connect in a female heavy faith... I have always believed in balance but the truth of it? Well, I have never practiced in a balanced way. I am still very female oriented in my worship... the Goddess is so much easier to relate to!
So we are renegotiating.
I can't wait to do more than browse the book... so far it has been all him...
I welcome my Warrior spirit home.
For more information:
ISBN: 978-0-7387-1194-2
Faith and Magick in the Armed Forces
Stefani E. Barner
(clicking on the link will take you to my bookstore!)
Enjoy and happy reading...
Thank you so much for the kind words about my book. As you know, I identify very closely with the peace movement, even as I do my best support my husband's career in the military. Walking this balance can be incredibly challenging, and I cannot begin to tell you how much it means to me to know that my little effort has done something to make another family's life a bit easier. Brightest blessings to you and yours.
ReplyDelete- Stefani Barner
Thank you so much for the kind words about my book. As you know, I am an active part of the peace movement, even as I do my best to support my husband and his comrades in their military careers. Walking this balance can be incredibly challenging and I am so gratified to know that my little effort was able to help another family. Brightest blessings to you and yours.
ReplyDelete-Stefani Barner