Pagan Family's and School

Seems like an odd place to start a blog, but it was where my solitary days ended and my out of the broom closet family days began....

It was Yule (Christmas)... This was my son's first year in school - and we were doing what we normally did - put up tree and talk about Father Winter... definitely Yule light... Until....

He came home one day while the school was leading up to the Christmas concert. My son was upset that one of his classmates had told him his shirt was not okay. Kids can be cruel, so I was mentally prepared for a comment in regards to the age or color of the shirt... not the content. It was a simple shirt that said "I rule" and a ruler was underneath... not pagan not even offensive really... but to the little class mate of his -- totally not okay... because only Jesus and God rule the world...

Yup he had been filled up with a bunch of information from a fellow kindergarten student about what to believe... I had not done my job and left a gap... He didn't know what we believed... so his very special friend was filling that information gap... Add to that the season... and the area.... I had a little 5 year old that was loudly insisting that he believed something vastly different than we did. It was uncomfortable and seemed really wrong. I had worked hard to create harmony and peace in our family... with our ideals... but I didn't want to tell him what to believe -- he should be able to choose...

Right?

Nope.

Nope it wasn't alright. It was disharmonious and seemed so wrong... We had a little uninformed person that was desperate to know what to believe... who created the world... where do we go when we die.... what are we celebrating.... do we celebrate anything? Why father winter??? Why a tree... So many questions... and I hadn't told him anything... I had not included him in ritual because he was too little - and I was not ready to share or be so OUT! Sharing with the family meant that it was no longer my personal little thing... Sharing meant putting it all out there -- directing my families beliefs and sharing so much of myself...and that was huge! I felt naked and exposed - prepared for ridicule and .... and... well the unexplored territory that was new.... uncomfortable... to exposed... with nothing to really hide behind...

I was very used to saying -- oh ya we are a pagan family.... but that wasn't true... I was pagan. Privately and intensely passionate... but not PUBLIC. My family was struggling. Not centred. Not in harmony. Not on the same page at all... My dear husband was also struggling... I didn't really notice.... that was his job to believe what he wanted...(more on that later)

So - I had to make a choice... Either it was out of my hands and I would have a "little Jesus Freak" stomping around and talking about what his little friend was saying was true.... or I stepped up and said well... that is one way to look at the world but this is ours... neither is wrong they are just different...

There were tears (from everyone) -- there was confusion (from everywhere)... and we are muddling through! This is now our world... not just mine and I have never been more proud of my kids... we share something amazing now. I was so afraid but the Goddess has filled me with her blessings and given me the words to share and the patience to weather the storms ahead... we are more of a family now - even my husband is excited and more centred -- more male if that is possible. Potent.

Things all happen for a reason. There are more ways to the old ways that there are colors in the universe - if I can help someone unify or share with there kids this amazing spiritual journey -- I am thrilled. Things happen -- it is what we do with it that matters most... Share, live, learn, love, and grow... it is our only real job! Everything else is just chaff...